


eliminating the impossible

by missadller



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Multi, My First Fanfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-19
Updated: 2014-12-19
Packaged: 2018-03-02 05:16:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2800904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missadller/pseuds/missadller





	eliminating the impossible

never thought that id consider going back home, things seemed too good to ever change, i feel defeated and destroyed, i'm the girl who came back home because she couldn't manage to control her life alone. i wont say the real reason why i'm going back ,i'll never say the truth i will say that i'm just visiting, that i'm homesick, a lie to cover up the true reason of my return it is my psychiatrists orders, maybe changing where i am will heal my broken heart

as I pack my bags I looked upon the mirror my reflection looks worse than ever my once lovely brown hair is now dull, and my once sparkly blue eyes are colorless and not sparkling anymore, my complexion as pale as the colour of the white walls behind me, I'm tired, I'm lost and I'm certainly ready to pack and leave everything here  
I want to forget everything and most of all I want to forget him the one that caused me the most pain and agony I've ever experienced in my whole life, I want to open a new page 

that's why I'm leaving new York because all I want is to erase the past four years of my life, my travelling bag is now almost full, I almost forgot my most valuable possession, I reached out for my self prescribed antidepressant and my pack of cigarettes, the nicotine slowly invading my veins calming me down from my own troubled mind, the smell of burning tobacco filled the air, and suddenly all my troubles faded away like burning smoke does in thin air.  
smoking is my addiction and my only weakness, it's a pleasure I allowed myself to take in complete secrecy, because smoking seems to me like the only cure for my unresting soul and my troubled mind, honestly it's the only thing keeping me from going mad,  
I closed the bag after minutes and minutes of trying , then I picked up the phone to call my friend who was going to pick me up from the airport, my best friend Jessie we were inseparable back in the days, she lived next door in baker street where i grew up, although now we are continents apart we still remain best friends, she knows me more than I know myself and I know her the same way

"Hello, Jessie it's Rosaline"I said in a weak, trembling voice, hoping she doesn't guess that I was crying 

"Oh, hello Rosie, have you packed already? Your mother, Mrs Hudson she is coming with me tomorrow she called earlier, she is very happy for your return, god I am so excited to see you, when are you arriving? " 

"What? You told her? I told You not to call her Jessie, please don't bring her with you, I'm a mess I would never let her see me like that, what would she think? You idiot, I told you not to tell her" my voice was so loud that it echoed around the room this idiot Jessie, I wasn't planning for that, i didn't even tell my mother about Richard, i don't want her to see me like that, i'm a complete mess

"Okay, okay, calm down Rosie, I won't bring her with me, remember she is your mother you know she is excited you're coming back, you're so unfair, anyway... you must go pack now I'll see you tomorrow morning love, laters "

"laters" i i said in a bitter voice, i didn't want my mother to know i was coming back to London, but things never go as one wants

I hanged up the phone, ready to leave my messy apartment, I looked at the chair facing me, the chair were he always used to sit, I can't believe he left me alone in this big messy place, I always imagine him sitting there smiling and reading the newspaper like he always does, he still lingers here somehowJim I've always liked this name although he much preferred his other name Richard and would get mad when I call him jim.  
I loved him and I will always remember the good times we had. however I can't deny that he tore my life apart for he was my everything and his death left me with nothing relationships were never a thing for me it's a fault I shouldn't have gotten myself into, the bad effect of romance is that everything is changed and I don't feel like the same person anymore.  
I'm scarred for life by his death, and as I close the door the behind me I wish that I never met you jim Moriarty, you ruined my life.  
I closed the door and took in a deep breath, trying to push away all the thoughts in my head, to me he is still alive, My mind will never erase his memory, god help me and let me continue through this endless corridor without relapsing, I don't want to leave this place, the place where i had the best and the worst times of my life, but i must leave and i must forget him ,all the good memories we had and all the bad ones, how can one extremely hate and be madly in love with the same person? that's what i will always be wondering about, i closed my eyes shaking off the thought and carried my heavy bags leaving and never willing to return


End file.
